Last week, Laura and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. While that hardly qualifies me to start offering marriage advice, it does mean I have a thing or two to say about dating. In fact, the one question I’ve gotten more than any other during that time has been some version of, “how did you know Laura was ‘the one’?” Whether or not you agree that there is only one person God has designed you to marry (for the record, I do believe that), it’s still a good question.
And I have a simple answer. It comes in the form of a question I asked myself before Laura and I even started dating. I was hanging around the house one afternoon feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t dating anyone when I had a thought I believe came from the Holy Spirit, “Who is the godliest girl you know and why are you not dating her?”
Wow. Talk about a helpful and convicting question! The answer wasn’t hard. It was Laura – I had admired her character, love for the Lord and desire to serve for years. What was hard was dealing with my own heart. I wasn’t dating her because I was still caught in the extended adolescent phase that traps so many 20 and 30 somethings. I loved Jesus but wasn’t sure I was ready for a really serious relationship. I wasn’t sure I was ready to settle down with a godly woman. I wasn’t sure I was ready to grow up and be a spiritual leader for Laura.
But I never could shake the question. Ultimately, it made me take a look at my life, get things together and ask her out.
I hope you can’t shake the question either. Who is the godliest person you know and why are you not dating them? Yes, it might force you to do a little growing up. But the rewards are so worth it. Honestly, you owe it to yourself to ask the question!