Month: November 2022

One Thing

/ John / Leave a comment

As we start the journey to Christmas, I find myself coming back to a familiar passage.

While they were traveling, he entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42 (CSB)

A few years ago, I ran to the store because we needed soap. While I was in the store, I started to feel self-conscious about just buying soap – kind of gross, right? It felt like a public announcement that I was still unshowered for the day. So I decided to pick up a few other things to pad the shopping cart. Of course, it wasn’t until I got home that I realized I had totally forgotten one thing, the soap. I had a bunch of stuff I didn’t really need but not the one thing I actually needed.

That’s basically the story of Mary & Martha.

Contrary to how we often talk about this story, Martha is not an evil, type-A, productivity freak who epitomizes everything wrong with those of us who like getting things done. She’s a woman who loves Jesus, loves her sister, and wants everything to go well on what was a pretty big day for her and her family. But somehow all of those good things became distracting things, not bad in and of themselves, but enough to lead Martha away from what she really needed and ultimately wanted – time with Jesus.

I’m guessing you can see the connection to Advent, right? It’s so easy to get so busy with so many good things this time of year – gifts, cards, trees, travel, cookies, and family, to name a few. If we’re not careful, all of those good things will take us away from the ultimate thing.

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4 (NIV)

This desire to sit at the feet of Jesus will mean different things for each of us. For some, it will mean saying no to good things so that we can say yes to ultimate things. For others, it will mean protecting time in the morning and evening to be with Jesus. For all of us, it means not saddling ourselves with unreasonable expectations of creating a perfect holiday.

As we take this journey together, we can be confident that whatever we have to let go of will pale in comparison to what we will gain as we gaze on the beauty of the Lord.

Photo by Olesia 🇺🇦 Buyar on Unsplash

Happy Thanksgiving

/ John / 2 Comments

As we head into Thanksgiving, it’s helpful to remember that gratitude is not a feeling. It’s a choice. At its core, thankfulness is not an emotional response to our circumstances, it’s a considered response to God. Gratitude is less something we stumble into and more something we lead our hearts into experiencing. Gratitude is less about what’s going on in our lives and more about our outlook on all of life.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

When we choose to be thankful, we are intentionally reminding ourselves that our lives are a gift of God’s grace. From spouses, to kids, to warm beds, good coffee, and crisp fall mornings. It’s all a gift. And, ultimately, the greatest gift God gives us is Himself.

Thanksgiving is possible not because everything goes perfectly but because God is present. The Spirit of God is within us— nearer to us than our own breath. It is a discipline to choose to stitch our days together with the thread of gratitude. But the decision to do so is guaranteed to stitch us closer to God.

Adele Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us

Some of us are headed into a holiday that will make it especially easy to be grateful – family, friends, football, and a huge meal. You’re basically living a Hallmark movie these next few days. Great! You shouldn’t feel bad about that. You also shouldn’t settle for it. Reach for something better – a heart that is tuned to the melody of gift and grace.

Some of us are headed into a holiday that will make it a little harder to be grateful – grieving lost loved ones, working on the holiday, being alone, or confronting the painful realities of family. I get it and I’m sorry. But you don’t need to write off Thanksgiving. Ironically, you might be most likely to discover the thread of true gratitude.

My prayer for all of us is that we walk into this holiday with intentionality. What a gift to have space to contemplate the love, power, and presence of God in our lives. May the Lord be near and lead us all to a deeper awareness of just how much we have to be thankful for in this season.

Photo by Pro Church Media on Unsplash

A New and Different Confidence

/ John / Leave a comment

It takes a lot of confidence to be a leader – confidence in who you are, in your ideas, and your ability to bring people together in the pursuit of common goals. Sadly, many leaders anchor their confidence in the wrong places. Some of us look to our personality, others to our education, some to our achievements, and others to our abilities. While there is nothing inherently wrong with any of that, there is a troubling common denominator. Ourselves.

Even when it comes to leadership development in the church, much of what we do is designed to increase our confidence in ourselves. We learn how to lead better meetings, preach better sermons, cast more compelling vision, and design more innovative ministries. Again, nothing wrong with that. Leaders who don’t know what they’re doing hurt a lot of people. So we should develop competence.

We just need to be aware that while we are working to develop competence, God is also working to develop brokenness.

“It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply.”

AW Tozer

We see this time and again in Scripture, with nearly every great leader in the Bible. Consider three quick examples. Moses spends 40 years in exile before he is called to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. David is tormented by Saul before he one day takes his place on the throne of Israel. Paul needed to be knocked to the ground before God could lift him up as a leader in the church.

Brokenness teaches us a new and different kind of confidence – a confidence rooted not in ourselves but in God’s love, character, promises, and purpose. Confidence rooted in God is noticeably different from confidence rooted in ourselves. Ego is replaced with humility. Competition is replaced by collaboration. Envy is replaced by celebration. Fear is replaced with courage. Insecurity is replaced by trust.

This confidence in God is what we need to aim for as followers of Jesus. Yes, pursue competence. But don’t fear brokenness. God is using both to prepare the kind of leaders His church desperately needs.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Are You Growing Spiritually?

/ John / Leave a comment

If you’ve ever been to Chincoteague Island in southeastern Virginia, you’ve probably seen these chairs – people down there seem mildly obsessed with them (in a good way!). They’re also a really good reminder for us as we evaluate our own spiritual growth.

Now the goal of our instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

1 Timothy 1:5 (CSB)

Paul was pretty clear that the goal of his preaching, pastoring, and church planting was to help people grow into the image and likeness of the God who is love. In other words, spiritual maturity is not measured primarily in terms of biblical knowledge acquired, dollars given, or hours served. All of those are important components of our discipleship but anything in our lives that is not rooted in love is not from God.

If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (CSB)

So, when you’re trying to figure out if you’re growing spiritually or not, make love the litmus test. If you’re becoming a more loving person (in ways defined by and motivated by the love of God as revealed in the gospel), you’re growing. If people aren’t experiencing you as a more loving person, you’re not growing. And we don’t need to figure out what love looks like. Paul’s got that one covered as well.

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (CSB)

If we want to get a handle on our level of spiritual growth, we need to start asking each other better questions. Wouldn’t it be great to sit down with a trusted friend and process some of these questions that help us assess if we’re becoming more loving people?

  • Am I becoming more patient with_______ (spouse, kids, co-workers, hard to love people, parents?)
  • Am I increasingly able to celebrate the success of others?
  • Where am I unwilling to forgive? Why am I still holding that person’s sin against them?
  • Am I tempted to give up on a friendship just because things have gotten hard?
  • Am I finding enough joy in Christ to fight the fleeting pleasures of sin?

The Importance of Rhythms

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Fall is, without a doubt, my favorite season. It’s also a beautiful reminder of the importance of rhythms in our lives. Fall only makes sense if we also know the heat of seemingly endless summer days, the harsh beauty of winter, and the vibrancy of spring. If all we knew was fall, autumn would lose its wonder. Ultimately, it’s the rhythm of all the seasons that I really cherish.

When we look at creation, we realize rhythm is essential to God’s design for the world – from seasons, to ocean tides, to sunrise and sunset, there is a rhythmic interplay that permeates the natural world. The same is true for us, the very best of God’s creation. We need to live our lives with defined rhythms – daily, weekly, and seasonally – if we’re going to thrive.

Rhythm isn’t about wild fluctuation between extremes. It’s about a gentle, steady, and life-giving back and forth. Rhythms aren’t about compensating for the mistakes and excesseses of the past season. They are about being present to the possibilities of this season. Rhythms aren’t about forcing us to do what we don’t want to do. They’re about helping us find the life we’re longing to experience.

When I cooperate with three essential rhythms, I’m the best version of myself.

Work/Rest

In many ways, this is the foundational rhythm that shapes each of our days.

It’s about enjoying breakfast with my family before we head off into the world. It’s about working hard on things that really matter, fighting distraction, and leaning into the roles God is asking me to play in life. It’s about stewarding my time so that I can power down my computer, put my phone on do not disturb, and have dinner with my family. And it’s about Sabbath, voluntarily fasting from productivity for 24 hours each week.

The trick for me is remembering that rest isn’t just a productivity hack, it’s an essential rhythm to our life with God. Our minds, bodies, and souls need to power down so they can be renewed and replenished. Ultimately, rest is about trust. Do we trust God enough to turn our phones off and go for a hike?

We also need to remember that work isn’t a curse, it’s a gift. We are created to do meaningful work – a life of laziness or leisure is never going to bring joy either. We need to get our hands dirty, our minds engaged, and our bodies tired. Those are also essential elements for our thriving.

Community/Solitude

Here’s the key point on this one: We ALL need BOTH, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. Yes, we all probably get more energy from one than the other but we ALL need BOTH. Community Groups are for introverts and silence and solitude is for extroverts!

At Restoration City, we talk a lot about community because spiritual formation is ultimately a relational process. We grow and change in community. In order to thrive, we need to be known by a close circle of friends and we need to invest the time in getting to know a close circle of friends. But we also need to be alone with God. There’s a reason Bonhoeffer devotes an entire chapter to silence and solitude in his classic book on community, Life Together. He begins the chapter with this thought:

Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. He will only do harm to himself and to the community. Alone you stood before God when he called you; alone you had to answer that call; alone you had to struggle and pray; and alone you will die and give an account to God. You cannot escape from yourself; for God has singled you out. If you refuse to be alone you are rejecting Christ’s call to you, and you can have no part in the community of those who are called.

Bonhoeffer, Life Together, Chapter 3

Being alone with God looks different for each of us in different seasons of life but we must learn to live in a rhythm of community and solitude.

Contemplation/Action

I know this sounds a lot like the work/rest rhythm but it’s not. This rhythm isn’t about how we organize our days, weeks, or months. It’s about how we make sense of major seasons of our lives.

For example, I think of 2019-2021 as an extended season of action in my life. I was pastoring a church, finishing up a degree, raising three small kids, and doing all of that in the upheaval of a global pandemic. While I tried to maintain rhythms of rest and solitude, I knew that I was in a season marked by a lot of activity. I wasn’t necessarily asking as many big picture questions. I was more tactical, trying to figure out what we needed to do to get through each fresh crisis.

But then in February of 2022, things began to shift. I was on a short retreat with a good friend and felt the Lord telling me I was headed into a season of contemplation. I needed to rethink some major things in my life – deeper clarity on vocation, fresh vision for the church, a new perspective on some key relationships, and a deeper trust in God. It’s only been very recently that I’ve felt the pendulum start to swing towards a season of action where I get to bring some of what I’ve learned over the past months to life.

Bottom line: you were created to live in rhythm. The goal is not to impose artificial rhythms on your life but rather to unearth the rhythms that are in your soul and cooperate with them. Rhythms ultimately shape our calendars but that’s not where they start. They start by listening to our souls.

So, what does your soul need in this season?