spiritual formation

Preparing For Lent

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I grew up in an Irish-Catholic family so lent was always a big deal for us. No meat on Fridays and we always gave up something – ice cream was a popular option for the kids (sacrificial but still leaving the door open for a wide range of other desserts) but Mom and Dad would usually reach for something a little more challenging – all desserts, or wine, or, for one particularly bleak year, coffee.

To be honest, I never really got it. God was cool with a burger on Thursday but not on Friday? And why couldn’t I eat ice cream? How was that helping me love God more?

So when I found a spiritual home in more evangelical traditions, I was happy to be done with lent. I remember being thrilled by a God who loved me based on what He gave up on the cross not on what I gave up for 40 days. Also, no more ashes on my head. I didn’t like that part either.

More recently, I’ve been drifting back to observing lent and trying to lead our church in that direction as well. And I’ve found it deeply rewarding.

While there are years that I do choose some kind of fast, I’m going in a slightly different direction this year. Or, maybe you could say I’m intentionally reconnecting with the entire idea of lent. Lent isn’t primarily about what you give up. It’s about who you are pursuing. It’s about taking a period of time to intentionally pursue your relationship with Jesus. If that pursuit leads you to give some things up for a season, great. Maybe Netflix is killing your prayer life or Instagram is capturing your heart or you’re using food to avoid your emotions or you’re looking to alcohol for help decompressing at the end of the day. If that’s the case, take a step back.

But keep your eyes on the goal – Jesus. The goal is to connect with Him, to be with Him, to learn to trust Him more, to delight in His presence. Whether you call it lent or not, forty days pursuing Jesus would do all of us a lot of good.

Photo by Jamie Ginsberg on Unsplash

Eugene Peterson, MLK, and Ed Sheeran

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Since my last post was about Martin Luther King, this seems like as good a time as any to share some thoughts that have been building in me over the past few years. While I’m so grateful for so much of what I got to experience as a young pastor, I also understand what Ed Sheeran means with his fantastic lyric, “Have no regrets but wish I did things in a different way.” (from Tides)

For example, I learned early on that a quick shot at Eugene Peterson and The Message (his paraphrase of Scripture) in a sermon was an easy way to get a laugh and make clear that I was serious theologian. Never mind that he was a professor and, at the time, I hadn’t even been to seminary! We were Bible people and Eugene Peterson could take his watered down theology elsewhere.

What a shame.

Eugene Peterson is one of the great saints and pastors of the last 100 years. He loved Jesus, treasured Scripture, thought deeply, and served so many so well through his teaching, his writing, and his personal ministry to pastors. His books have had a profound impact on my life (go read A Long Obedience In The Same Direction) and I would love to be like him when I grow up. He lived with a grace that embodied the gospel and influenced many (after you read A Long Obedience, you can watch him talking about the psalms with Bono).

And I made fun of him to show that I was a real pastor.

Which brings me back to MLK. In school, I learned about him as a civil rights leader but in church I never learned about him as a pastor. I knew his dream moved my heart but I didn’t know just how much his dream was shaped by his faith, by my faith, by our shared faith in Jesus. It’s not that I made fun of MLK but I never would have quoted him in a sermon either. I respected Dr. King but failed to see him as Rev. King.

I was too narrow in my thinking, my reading, and my preaching. I was living in a really small corner of the church and believing the lie that we were the only ones doing it right. It wasn’t just Eugene Peterson and MLK. Catholics and Anglicans were off limits. Charismatics were to be ignored. And, God forbid, learning something from a woman.

I’m sorry.

In some ways, this is a public apology. But it’s also an invitation to read broadly, to think critically, to engage with people you don’t agree with, and to be intellectually curious. You’ll be better off and so will those you influence and serve.

Photo Credit: By Clappstar – Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=73807775

Gratitude Increases Joy

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But one of them, seeing that he was healed, returned and, with a loud voice, gave glory to God. He fell facedown at his feet, thanking him. And he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus said, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Didn’t any return to give glory to God except this foreigner?”

Luke 17:15-18 (CSB)

In Luke 17, Jesus heals ten lepers. Each of the ten showed a lot of courage as they came to Jesus as a group and cried out for healing as a group. They also demonstrated a lot of faith in that Jesus didn’t heal any of them until they are already on their way to present themselves to the priests in the temple. But only one comes back to say thank you. Only one of them gets the best version of the story.

In my experience, it’s really easy to beat up on the other nine newly healed lepers as nothing more than a bunch of ungrateful degenerates. Jesus heals them and they can’t even be bothered to say thank you?!? But I don’t think they’re bad guys and I don’t even think they are unappreciative. I’m sure they were thrilled with what Jesus had done for them. So thrilled that they were at home kissing their wives or holding babies or hugging parents. Maybe they went off to play basketball with their friends for the first time in a while, to swim without shame, or to just stroll through the market without anybody caring. They’re not ungrateful, they’re just busy feasting, dancing, and laughing. Not bad guys. Just guys who missed something, something that would have only made their party better.

They missed the connection between gratitude and joy. Had they taken a few minutes to come back to Jesus, it would have made their celebration that much sweeter, the story that much better. Gratitude increases joy.

When it comes to our relationship with God, gratitude isn’t about proper manners or staying on His good side for the next time we need a miracle. Gratitude is about recognizing the grace behind the gift. It’s about saying, “You didn’t have to do this, I don’t deserve this, but I’m so thankful that you chose to do this. This only happened because of you.” Maybe that’s why the only one to come back to Jesus is a Samaritan, a foreigner, the one with the least right to expect anything from the Jewish Messiah. He was the one most able to see the grace behind the gift and he was the one who comes away as the real winner in the story.

As a final note, Jesus tells us that gratitude for grace is one of the main ways we glorify God. By saying thank you, this man was not only giving God the credit but also celebrating God’s character – He’s the kind of God who shows mercy to those who have no right to expect it.

I don’t want to live like the nine lepers who don’t come back, appreciative but entitled. I want to taste the joy that comes through grace and gratitude.

If you want to live with more joy, be intentional about living with more gratitude.

Photo by Cristian Escobar on Unsplash

Making Space

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We usually roll into this time of year poised to start some things – new rhythms, new habits, new projects around the house, new initiatives at work. At the very least, we think of the new year in terms of improving things – investing in our marriage, having more meaningful conversations with our friends, caring for our bodies, stewarding our finances. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for all of that. I love this time of year with its sense of new beginnings, fresh starts, and renewed possibilities.

But we tend to overlook a crucial prerequisite to all of this starting and improving. Before we add, we need to subtract. That’s why I’m coming into 2023 wondering how I can create more space in my life for what really matters. For me, it’s easy to dream about a life filled with prayer walks, healthy eating, deep connection, and creativity. The hard part is creating the space I need to create that kind of life.

Let’s face it – none of us were all that bored in 2022. It’s not like we were sitting around with all kinds of unscheduled, undistracted, idle time and now that Christmas is over we’re finally getting around to doing something about it. We live in a world of tight schedules, limitless distractions, and physical exhaustion.

Making new years resolutions without first making space is an exercise in futility. Worse, it’s an exercise in cruelty – it’s like spending a weekend shopping for a new car that you absolutely cannot afford. Why fall in love with the vision of regular date nights, energizing workouts, and bonding around a fire pit when you’re already not keeping up with everything?

So, hold on to your thoughts, dreams, and plans for 2023. They’re important. In fact, I think those longings give you a pretty good sense of some of the work God wants to do in your life. But before you dive headlong into new plans, schedules, and activities, make some space.

That’s my prayer for us this January – make space for what matters.

Which means letting go of some of the things that really don’t. For me, making space really comes down to two things: screens and schedules. The life I want requires less time on email, YouTube, HGTV, and news websites. There’s no reason to talk about the books I want to read until I get some space from the screens I don’t want to watch. The life I want to lead doesn’t have space for unproductive meetings, constant availability, or saying yes to every request. That’s just me. You might need to make space in your finances, in your closet, in your kid’s schedules, in your social calendar, or in your social media usage.

Here’s the thing – I really want all of us to get to those hopes and dreams we’re holding on to or 2023. But they won’t happen if we don’t take the time to make some space first.

Photo by Paolo Nicolello on Unsplash

Faith Like A Child

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There are a lot of things that Laura and I are trying to teach our kids. What they don’t know is that there’s also a lot we’re learning from them. They’re experts in wonder, delight, anticipation, and play. They laugh easily and forgive quickly (most of the time!). Curiosity and exploration are their default modes. Their hearts are tender to the needs of our city and world.

Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Leave the little children alone, and don’t try to keep them from coming to me, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Matthew 19:12-14

The kingdom of heaven belongs to those who take risks, need help, trust, and long for adventure. The kingdom of heaven belongs to those who don’t care what they wear, who delight in snow, and get swept up in the moment. God is found by those who see no alternative to grace and are often confronted by their need for grace.

May the grace of Christmas help each of us rediscover a childlike faith.

(Dis)Contentment This Christmas

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As we head into Christmas, I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with contentment. If I’m honest, I see in myself a tendency to be what Jude called “a discontented grumbler” (Jude 1:16), although I prefer the term “recovering perfectionist.” So, I need to fight for contentment. At the same time, I realize I need to be careful not to settle for a false form of contentment that is nothing more than complacency in disguise.

I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself. I know how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:11-13 (CSB)

Clearly, God wants us to learn how to be content in the present moment, whether it is a time of plenty or scarcity, comfort or affliction. Ultimately, this means learning to satisfy the longings of our soul in ways that are independent of stuff and circumstances. We find this kind of contentment through communion with God and relationship with others. As our souls rest in God, we’re able to enjoy Christmas for what it is without asking gifts, meals, and moments to carry more weight than they are able to bear.

I’m asking God to fill my heart and home with that kind of contentment. Christmas is a gift and the miracle of God with us is all my soul truly needs. Contentment enables us to enjoy simple pleasures, to be present with others, and to not miss out on what God is doing in the moment. For me, contentment feels like savoring a simple cup of coffee, enjoying a walk in the woods, and reading a good book. It doesn’t need to be loud, flashy, epic, or perfect. It’s okay with a little mess and some disrupted plans. It’s able to forgive and discover empathy for others and the choices they make.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out.

1 Timothy 6:6-7 (CSB)

I want to know God in a way that leads to contentment.

Except that’s only half of the story.

I don’t want to be content with extreme poverty, spiritual apathy, broken marriages, a refugee crisis at the southern border, and war in Ukraine. I don’t want to make peace with the daily reminders that our world is broken and crying out for restoration. Contentment does not mean complacency. Contentment is able to walk into the gap between the world as God designed it and the world as it is today. Contentment doesn’t need to be protected from hard things. Contentment is able to bring light to darkness and hope to the hopeless.

As is so often the case, my heart tends to get it all wrong. I am discontent with what I have and content with what should trouble me. I’m praying for the grace to realign my heart with God’s heart this Christmas.

I’m good with what I have. I’m not good with the world as it is.

Photo by Marta Filipczyk on Unsplash

What Really Matters This Christmas

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I think we all come into Advent with the best of intentions. We’re going to get all the shopping done early, stay in budget, keep Jesus at the center, have meaningful conversations, give meaningful gifts, create margin, give generously, bake beautiful cookies, send cards, sing carols, stay healthy, get sleep, and allow ourselves numerous quiet moments in front of the tree to thank God for the grace of an Incarnate Son who comes to rescue and redeem the world.

And then reality hits.

We find ourselves overwhelmed, stressed, tense, and just trying to get through the whole thing all the while promising ourselves that NEXT year is going to be totally different.

But I would like to think this year can still be different. Yes, you might have to jettison some of your plans and you might not meet everyone else’s expectations but it is not too late to enjoy this Christmas. We just need to get clear about what really matters to us this Christmas. Before we make promises about next year, we need to figure out what we’re looking for this year.

For what it’s worth, here’s my list of what matters to me this Christmas.

  • Time for prayer. Probably no surprise (I hope!) that Jesus was going to be first on my list. But I wanted to be more specific so faith or spirituality doesn’t become a vague platitude. I want more time for prayer this Christmas, not less.
  • Meaningful connection with those closest to me. Rather than being spread thin, I want to go deep with those I love the most. I’m also really aware that in order to have anything to offer my family and friends, I need time with God in prayer (see point 1).
  • Give generously and joyfully. For me this is about participating in what God is doing in the world and about fighting greed and materialism in my heart. But what really matters to me on this one is my motivation and attitude in giving – fighting against fear, duty, or obligation and finding joy in opportunities to bless others.

That’s it. That’s what really matters to me this Christmas. Knowing that and being able to share it with others creates so much clarity for me as I navigate this season.

The point of a list like this is not to create some brutal gauntlet that all requests for my time, energy, and money need to pass through before I say yes. Nor is the point to be overly legalistic and rigid. My Christmas will not consist solely of time alone, deep conversations, and moments of spontaneous generosity (although that doesn’t sound bad!!). The point is knowing what matters so that we don’t just endure Christmas but enjoy it.

I’m praying the Lord will give each of us the grace and courage we need to treasure these days and find what our hearts are truly longing for this Christmas. May the grace of Christ guide us to the joy of Christmas.

Photo by Sarah Evans on Unsplash

Are You Growing Spiritually?

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If you’ve ever been to Chincoteague Island in southeastern Virginia, you’ve probably seen these chairs – people down there seem mildly obsessed with them (in a good way!). They’re also a really good reminder for us as we evaluate our own spiritual growth.

Now the goal of our instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

1 Timothy 1:5 (CSB)

Paul was pretty clear that the goal of his preaching, pastoring, and church planting was to help people grow into the image and likeness of the God who is love. In other words, spiritual maturity is not measured primarily in terms of biblical knowledge acquired, dollars given, or hours served. All of those are important components of our discipleship but anything in our lives that is not rooted in love is not from God.

If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (CSB)

So, when you’re trying to figure out if you’re growing spiritually or not, make love the litmus test. If you’re becoming a more loving person (in ways defined by and motivated by the love of God as revealed in the gospel), you’re growing. If people aren’t experiencing you as a more loving person, you’re not growing. And we don’t need to figure out what love looks like. Paul’s got that one covered as well.

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (CSB)

If we want to get a handle on our level of spiritual growth, we need to start asking each other better questions. Wouldn’t it be great to sit down with a trusted friend and process some of these questions that help us assess if we’re becoming more loving people?

  • Am I becoming more patient with_______ (spouse, kids, co-workers, hard to love people, parents?)
  • Am I increasingly able to celebrate the success of others?
  • Where am I unwilling to forgive? Why am I still holding that person’s sin against them?
  • Am I tempted to give up on a friendship just because things have gotten hard?
  • Am I finding enough joy in Christ to fight the fleeting pleasures of sin?

The Importance of Rhythms

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Fall is, without a doubt, my favorite season. It’s also a beautiful reminder of the importance of rhythms in our lives. Fall only makes sense if we also know the heat of seemingly endless summer days, the harsh beauty of winter, and the vibrancy of spring. If all we knew was fall, autumn would lose its wonder. Ultimately, it’s the rhythm of all the seasons that I really cherish.

When we look at creation, we realize rhythm is essential to God’s design for the world – from seasons, to ocean tides, to sunrise and sunset, there is a rhythmic interplay that permeates the natural world. The same is true for us, the very best of God’s creation. We need to live our lives with defined rhythms – daily, weekly, and seasonally – if we’re going to thrive.

Rhythm isn’t about wild fluctuation between extremes. It’s about a gentle, steady, and life-giving back and forth. Rhythms aren’t about compensating for the mistakes and excesseses of the past season. They are about being present to the possibilities of this season. Rhythms aren’t about forcing us to do what we don’t want to do. They’re about helping us find the life we’re longing to experience.

When I cooperate with three essential rhythms, I’m the best version of myself.

Work/Rest

In many ways, this is the foundational rhythm that shapes each of our days.

It’s about enjoying breakfast with my family before we head off into the world. It’s about working hard on things that really matter, fighting distraction, and leaning into the roles God is asking me to play in life. It’s about stewarding my time so that I can power down my computer, put my phone on do not disturb, and have dinner with my family. And it’s about Sabbath, voluntarily fasting from productivity for 24 hours each week.

The trick for me is remembering that rest isn’t just a productivity hack, it’s an essential rhythm to our life with God. Our minds, bodies, and souls need to power down so they can be renewed and replenished. Ultimately, rest is about trust. Do we trust God enough to turn our phones off and go for a hike?

We also need to remember that work isn’t a curse, it’s a gift. We are created to do meaningful work – a life of laziness or leisure is never going to bring joy either. We need to get our hands dirty, our minds engaged, and our bodies tired. Those are also essential elements for our thriving.

Community/Solitude

Here’s the key point on this one: We ALL need BOTH, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. Yes, we all probably get more energy from one than the other but we ALL need BOTH. Community Groups are for introverts and silence and solitude is for extroverts!

At Restoration City, we talk a lot about community because spiritual formation is ultimately a relational process. We grow and change in community. In order to thrive, we need to be known by a close circle of friends and we need to invest the time in getting to know a close circle of friends. But we also need to be alone with God. There’s a reason Bonhoeffer devotes an entire chapter to silence and solitude in his classic book on community, Life Together. He begins the chapter with this thought:

Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. He will only do harm to himself and to the community. Alone you stood before God when he called you; alone you had to answer that call; alone you had to struggle and pray; and alone you will die and give an account to God. You cannot escape from yourself; for God has singled you out. If you refuse to be alone you are rejecting Christ’s call to you, and you can have no part in the community of those who are called.

Bonhoeffer, Life Together, Chapter 3

Being alone with God looks different for each of us in different seasons of life but we must learn to live in a rhythm of community and solitude.

Contemplation/Action

I know this sounds a lot like the work/rest rhythm but it’s not. This rhythm isn’t about how we organize our days, weeks, or months. It’s about how we make sense of major seasons of our lives.

For example, I think of 2019-2021 as an extended season of action in my life. I was pastoring a church, finishing up a degree, raising three small kids, and doing all of that in the upheaval of a global pandemic. While I tried to maintain rhythms of rest and solitude, I knew that I was in a season marked by a lot of activity. I wasn’t necessarily asking as many big picture questions. I was more tactical, trying to figure out what we needed to do to get through each fresh crisis.

But then in February of 2022, things began to shift. I was on a short retreat with a good friend and felt the Lord telling me I was headed into a season of contemplation. I needed to rethink some major things in my life – deeper clarity on vocation, fresh vision for the church, a new perspective on some key relationships, and a deeper trust in God. It’s only been very recently that I’ve felt the pendulum start to swing towards a season of action where I get to bring some of what I’ve learned over the past months to life.

Bottom line: you were created to live in rhythm. The goal is not to impose artificial rhythms on your life but rather to unearth the rhythms that are in your soul and cooperate with them. Rhythms ultimately shape our calendars but that’s not where they start. They start by listening to our souls.

So, what does your soul need in this season?

Stand Out From The Crowd

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In last Sunday’s sermon, I shared a quote from RT France that I haven’t been able to get out of my mind since I first read it. In his commentary on Matthew, France calls us to adopt “the distinctive lifestyle of disciples.” This phrase is a wonderful reminder that, as followers of Jesus, we’re meant to stand out from the crowd – not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, as Paul would say it. (Romans 12:1) Our lives should be visibly different because we’ve been brought from spiritual death to spiritual life by the grace of God. (Ephesians 2:5) And this distinctiveness should be a lifestyle for us, not just an occasional moment of spiritual courage.

It’s a beautiful vision for our lives but living it out is really hard; in fact, it’s impossible without the power of the Spirit in our lives. But we need to rely on that Spirit in different ways in different seasons of our lives. While we’re all in different places and have different needs, here’s how I’ve seen this play out in the seasons of my life and in the lives of the people I pastor.

Courage

From our late teens to our mid 30’s, it takes a lot of courage to adopt the distinctive lifestyle of a disciple. It feels like the teachings of Jesus and your friend’s plans for the weekend are in constant conflict. People think you’re weird because you don’t live with your girlfriend, aren’t diving into the hookup scene, and stay under control at happy hour. And they’re more than happy to share their opinions about you and your distinct lifestyle, sometimes with you and sometimes behind your back. Some days you wonder if following Jesus is worth it. Would life be better if you eased up on the Jesus stuff and just went with the flow? I get it. I’ve been there. And I’ve given in to the temptation. But I was always left with the sense that I had traded true joy for fleeting pleasure, that I had turned my back on the life I wanted, and the One who gave me life.

Creativity

Somewhere around our mid-30’s, we start to chill out a bit, follower of Christ or not. Admittedly, this is more true for some than others but we all agree that a 40 year old trying to live like a 20 year old is a sad sight. Along the way, those of us who follow Jesus start to notice that the distinction between our lives and the lives of our non-Christian friends is a little less clear. Both single and married adults experience this but it seems to be most prevalent in married adults with children. Don’t get me wrong, the distinct lifestyle of a disciple still takes courage but it also takes a lot of creativity. Here are some questions I’m wrestling with as someone right in the middle of this season of life:

  • How does the gospel shape the way I honor and care for my body?
  • Am I showing my kids that the best things in life aren’t watched on a screen?
  • Are we willing to say no to the onslaught of playdates, birthday parties, activities, practices, and games that can dominate this season of life? More importantly, are we giving our kids a compelling why for the choices we’re making – time with family, time to rest, time for church?
  • Am I open to new experiences and different points of view? Am I still learning?
  • When was the last time we decided not to purchase something so that we could use the money to fund ministry?
  • How do we keep the romance in marriage so that our kids grow up wanting to be married, not afraid of it?
  • Are we still willing to take risks as a family? Especially with our finances – do we settle for the safety of giving or reach for the risk of generosity?
  • Do my neighbors see me as the kind of guy who is available for a meaningful conversation if they wanted to have one?
  • How do I treat my kid’s teachers, coaches, and the volunteers at RCCKids? Do I come off as entitled and disappointed or grateful?

Honestly, I love this season. But I also know how easy it is to drift into complacency. After all, I’m not doing anything all that bad! Fight that, stay fresh, get creative!

Love

Somewhere in our mid-50’s, we start to turn another corner. From what I can tell, this one is about love – whether or not love is the controlling motivation of our hearts. This season is all about what you chose to do when you don’t have to do anything. You’re less controlled by kids schedules, boss’ expectations, and financial pressure (ideally…I know that’s not true for everyone). So, what are you going to do with your life now that you don’t have to do anything with your life?

The distinctive lifestyle of a disciple is never easy. Courage, creativity, and love are always going to be in the mix, just to varying degrees. And Jesus is always going to be worth it, not in varying degrees but infinitely so.